Is Solo Travel Perfect for Introverts?
What's it like to travel the world as an introvert? Alun gets all vulnerable this week, as he describes backpacking life as an introvert. We ask whether solo travel is perfect for introverts and provide tips on how best to approach traveling if you have social anxiety. Extraverts have always had their fun, but does that render their trips less meaningful? Adam learns he knew less than he thought about the topic but one thing he does know is that he doesn't want to play beer pong.
In the Lost & Found section Adam's Dad catches him eating with his hands, but it's in an Indian restaurant, so it's acceptable. Or is it? Join in the debate!
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Intro
05:13 - Introversion and Extroversion in Backpacking
08:36 - Hostel Beer Pong Pressure
12:14 - Social Anxiety While Traveling
18:09 - Do Extraverts have more fun?
24:56 - Travel advice for Introverts & Extraverts
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Welcome to Tripology
Alun:
[0:02] Hello and welcome to this episode of Tripology. It's a backpacking podcast where despite having obligations that sometimes keep them in the same place, we maintain a consistent obsession with traveling about the world.
Tripology: Travel, Italy, and a Patreon Tease
Alun:
[0:14] I'm Alan and I'm here with one of the greatest travelers of all time. Objectively, it's the ever-extroverted Adam.Adam:
[0:23] Thank you everyone for joining us for another week. I'm all the way in Italy, Alan's all the way in Japan and for the patreon the lost and found section i'm going to tell you about a very awkward moment between me my dad and an indian restaurant in france and dad i know that you're listening but if you want to find out what i'm going to say about you just have to subscribe to patreon.
Alun:
[0:43] Yeah that's right straight away we've come in hot with a plug let me tell you for why this is going to be a very introspective cerebral show where we talk about some of the higher concepts of travel so if you want to hear about, adam's dad having a fight in an indian restaurant you're just gonna have to spend a little the old.
Adam:
[1:00] Cash in okay, it wasn't a fight it wasn't a fight, um but anyway it's a funny story nonetheless and i think that will be, uh very fruitful in terms of a conversation as today will be mate i've missed you i'm covered in greece i'm covered in olive oil to be specific um that's a story for another day what's going on on your side.
Alun:
[1:21] Well not necessarily because I've missed you as well and I'm excited, if anything, that you're in Italy. That seems like ever such a perfect place for you to be.
Adam:
[1:32] On account of the fact that people drink alcohol from about 7 or 8 o'clock in the morning?
Alun:
[1:37] The alcoholism and also the sun. I know that you're a bit of a sun lover. And you also like wine, which I believe is from there. And you also like pizza.
Adam:
[1:55] Yeah, I think Italian actually, Italian, Italy by volume produces more wine than any other country in the world. So you are right. But I am here on olive oil duties. I will tell a little story about that at some point in the near future. We're now recording this on my break from work, would you believe? So I'm ever so excited to talk to you, but I'm a little bit hungry. So let's get moving, mate.
Alun:
[2:18] Speaking of Italy, though, just one more anecdote. sorry just waving to my boss out the window he's gone on a segue yeah yeah.
Adam:
[2:27] Another 30 minutes yeah that'd be.
Alun:
[2:28] Great i was just thinking about italy just then for a second and someone once said to me someone once said to me is that a roman nose because it's roaming all over your face, and that person was a teacher at my secondary school you're joking you can't do that can you.
Adam:
[2:52] Were you a student at the school at the.
Alun:
[2:53] Time very much so not only a student but a child haha.
Adam:
[3:02] With, one has to imagine, a significantly smaller nose than the one you have now.
Alun:
[3:06] No, what I think happened, I think when I went through puberty, my nose did it first.
Adam:
[3:13] Right, okay.
Alun:
[3:14] So there was a brief, awkward period where I had the face, body, and, I mean, I hesitate to use the word genitals, of a child. but the nose of me now was a fully adult man and I looked hawk-like, and uh the teacher obviously saw that and felt took it upon it was appropriate to remark on it which I think is an insane decision from that member of staff.
Adam:
[3:48] Certainly in this day and age they'd be fired on the spot wouldn't they you could report them in 2026 my god they'd never be their teacher career is over blah blah.
Alun:
[3:55] But i'm wondering if i can still report him now.
Adam:
[3:59] I would have said so i would have said did well what was the repro did you sort of come back with another joke because you're very witty you're very funny and quick.
Alun:
[4:06] Well my geography wasn't so good at that so i didn't know what he was talking about, i had no idea what he meant by it.
Adam:
[4:17] Dear idea that's awful mate i'm sorry i had to go through that bullied by a teacher i would call that bullying i would it's not even a funny joke.
Alun:
today.
[4:25] Yeah well do you know what it actually made me a stronger person and it's led to a series of psychological issues that have been advantageous in later life and that's what i want to talk about
Adam:
[4:37] Okay nice i'm looking forward to it this is um the sort of stuff that maybe other travel podcasts don't dive into do they.
Alun:
[4:43] Although i was reading rarely do the other big hitters in the travel world i've never seen the armchair traveler or whatever his name is go oh when i was in school A teacher called me a twat.
Adam:
[4:59] Um no but go on mate what are we going to talk about because i'm excited to cover this subject.
Alun:
[5:04] And um sorry.
Adam:
[5:07] I've done some reading over the last 24 hours and it turns out that i knew even
Adam:
[5:11] less than i thought about the subject.
Introversion and Extroversion in Backpacking
Alun:
[5:13] Because i mentioned to you that i wanted to talk about this i wanted to talk about introversion and extroversion because i would say it's one of the most common things we get on the old emails and occasionally a carrier pigeon someone will say hey adam and alan i want to travel like you do i want to go to hostels i want to see the world but i'm ever such an introvert i'm more about books than i am about parties i'm worried that i'll go to a hostel and i'll be all isolated and overwhelmed by loud people playing beer pong it'll make me go inside myself like a sort of kinky armadillo and i won't want to travel anymore, yeah yeah we receive that email in those exact words very often verbatim uh.
Adam:
[6:01] Yeah it's funny you mentioned beer pong so anyone who is interested in backpacking because it's it's not travel it's specifically kind of backpacking and backpacking culture maybe even southeast asia specific and party hostels etc, but beer pong and this kind of group activity everyone drinking until the early hours every night full moon parties blah blah blah, i don't know why that occupies such an enormous space within backpacking is it to do with the marketing or how it's portrayed online because it's not i mean it happens but it's not like the only thing you do when you travel.
Alun:
[6:38] No but those are the activities of the extrovert and extroverts by their very nature own a significant portion of every space because they insert themselves and take up space. I really want to talk about these ideas of extroverts and introverts. Do you have a definition for me? You said you'd done some reading.
Adam:
[6:58] Yeah, so I thought, probably like a lot of people listening to this podcast, that an introvert was almost, it's almost synonymous with shyness and being timid and sort of maybe preferring to be on one's own, uncomfortable in social situations, all this sort of stuff. but after reading multiple definitions online and even how they pertain to travel, it's actually very simply someone who recharges their batteries or gains energy and regains energy from spending time on their own in.
Alun:
[7:30] Solitude so that was always my understanding is that an extrovert is someone who gets energy from company and an introvert is someone who gets energy from being on their own i do think those definitions and the labels are somewhat flawed because i think to a certain extent, everyone does both i think that there's no such thing as like a true extrovert true introvert because i think that, being completely isolated you definitely run out of energy you can be the most introverted person in the world but if you're put in social isolation you you will, run out of mental battery pretty quickly you'll go insane and then similarly extroverts like at some point they've got to have a sleep do you know i mean.
Adam:
[8:12] Yeah, sure. You just twigged my memory, actually. When I was in Hanoi back in 2015, I've told this story to people I've met a ridiculous amount of times because it embodies everything I think.
Adam:
[8:27] When I think about this very specific type of backpacker that you meet when you travel, we were in Hanoi, me and some guys that I met when we were traveling,
Adam:
[8:35] we all happened to be in the same room. and our dorm room became it was called goldie the name of the room so we became the goldie gang or something like that and um we're spending a lot of time together, going to all the i was a young man then, we loved the alliteration but we spending a lot of time together happy just drinking in the room you know going out doing the museum thing or anything else cultural and we were sitting in the room one night just having a chat and listening to some music, and a guy bowled into the room smashed the door down and said i'm not going to tell you where he's from but you might pick it up from the accent, he said guys guys guys come downstairs we're about to play beer pong and we were like huh cheers mate no no it's all good thanks he said what do you mean no guys it's about to start downstairs there's a whole hostel down there waiting i was like look mate, we're really fine thank you appreciate it well guys you gotta come come on he bowled his way into the room and started trying to like pull me down by the arm i was like dude, I'm not fucking playing. I don't want to play your beer pong. I definitely don't want to play any board games. So just get out and accept that we're going to listen to music on our own and we don't want to be part of your group activity. And I think that's totally fine. But it's almost this pressure or expectance that because you're in a hostel, you have to be super involved in every single activity. And we just didn't want any of that.
Beer Pong Pressure in the Hostel
Alun:
[9:56] But even that American guy would have been an ambivert in some sense because at some point he stops right at some point he goes on a little walk or calls his mom or calms himself down but he like so many have fallen into the sort of trappings of the idea of travel being this super social thing travel, and hostels sometimes have the cultural energy, of like a university dorm for the first time when people like suddenly they're free they're outside of their homes for the first time and everyone's like whoa let's play beer pong and make out with each other and and go on a uh, an alcohol cruise where we pay for a ticket and get all drunk and crazy and that like happens in the same space as all the travel stuff that we want to talk about, I know that people feel like because they're introverted, travel is somehow going to be a problem or more challenging or they're not going to meet people and it's going to be a more, difficult experience.
Alun:
[11:08] I want to say on this podcast that I've presented myself my whole life as a fairly extroverted person. Everything I say on this episode, I think is going to be at odds with your specific perception of me in some way, Adam, because you know me really, really well. but i think that for most people that know me certainly in my 20s and up into my 30s i think most people, most people have the idea of me that i'm fairly introverted like you've seen me in a room full of people where i want to be liked i'm pretty, vocal and loud and and on it and charming charismatic intelligent interesting thanks yeah and like also when I was growing up, I liked to play music in a band and do stuff and make videos and things like that. These are all the actions of someone that some people would perceive as being extroverted.
Pushing Past Social Anxiety While Traveling
Alun:
[12:15] As I get older, I really am coming to terms with the fact that not only am I introverted in a lot of ways, but all of those things that I've done that are extroverted have been the direct result of me forcing myself outside of my comfort zone in some sense and forcing myself to do things which make me uncomfortable because I enjoy the outcome of those things. And I want to discuss that with you. I want to talk about that with you because so often we put ourselves in this box where like, oh, I recharge my batteries by reading a book. Well, that's fine. But forcing yourself to be uncomfortable by, opening up to people or saying that thing that you think is funny or putting yourself out there or being vulnerable or doing any of those extrovert activities there are benefits to being extroverted like that, so it's worth forcing yourself into that discomfort occasionally and I think that everyone should try and do that.
Adam:
[13:32] Yeah, but we are in danger of confusing someone who's introverted to someone who experiences social anxiety.
Alun:
[13:42] I experience a ton of social anxiety, though. I think that I'm not saying that you should...
Adam:
[13:46] That doesn't mean you are or aren't an introvert, though. Those are two different things.
Alun:
[13:52] But I think I'm an introvert and I have social anxiety.
Adam:
[13:56] Well, you just happen to be both. but I think I present as an extrovert and I think that everyone potentially everyone who's ever met me might say that I am an extrovert, yet when I read the definition of an introvert last night it just sounded like a description of the way I like spending time so you get more.
Alun:
[14:19] You get more energy from being around people than I do and that's just a fact about you from my perspective Maybe I'm falling into the trap that everyone else does, but you enjoy, going out and meeting people and being social and telling them about yourself and hearing about what they have to say and all that stuff on a level that I just don't.
Adam:
[14:39] Yeah. Yeah. When you compare the two of us.
Alun:
[14:41] And that's extroversion to some extent. And that's the trap that people fall into, I think, is that they, of course, no one's saying that you don't like spending time on your own. But there are benefits from being extroverted that you enjoy reaping. And there are benefits of being extroverted that everyone should enjoy reaping. And by putting yourself in the bracket of introvert, I think sometimes you limit yourself from just behaving a certain way that has its benefits. Now, that's a huge simplification, obviously. If you suffer from genuine dread at the idea of putting yourself out there, then just saying, oh, be more introverted, it's like a difficult pill to swallow. But I basically think that from a mindset perspective, forcing yourself to be uncomfortable kind of is what travel is about. And that goes for the situations you put yourself in culturally and the situations you put yourself in socially. so regardless of how you view your own introversion or extroversion i think that through the lens of travel it's really worth.
Alun:
[16:04] Experiencing those nerves it's really worth putting yourself out there and if that makes you nervous that shouldn't put you off travel that should be a reason to travel.
Adam:
[16:17] Would you think in some cases it's actually difficult to experience travel the way an extrovert would if you, because it's not even complacency or comfort, that people are just, who are introvert, genuinely introvert, I think are just that way inclined. They prefer spending time on their own. They might still stay in a hostel, but they might single out one person and become very close with them as opposed to being part of a wider group. so I think if depending on what travel means to you and what you want to get out of travel, I think it can still be incredibly meaningful and diverse and rich and educational and exciting and interesting, even if you don't look to operate out of your company. I think that's where the delineation comes between social anxiety and extroversion, introversion.
Alun:
[17:07] You're right. But I guess what my point is, is that you should. Although, of course, it's nice to know that there's always going to be space
Alun:
[17:18] for you if you're introverted. it's nice that there's a space to do that even in the context of travel you should use travel to some extent as a vector to push yourself to be more social to to, reap some of those extroverted benefits in the same breath i think for really extroverted people, there's benefits to being introverted where like you can take some time on your own to know yourself you can take that long train ride, and not need the constant stimulation of a podcast or an audiobook or or music or something like that taking time to to be by yourself and deeply understand yourself maybe that's something that the extrovert struggles with and I think travel presents this wonderful vector to push yourself into both categories I think that too often we We think of them as like, two sides of a coin as opposed to two ways of understanding that someone can push themselves, in both directions in order to get a better view of what it is to be a person holistically.
Finding Balance Between Solitude and Connection
Adam:
[18:28] I'm just trying to think back to all the times that I've been sort of a part of a group, let's say, and whether that's kind of a walking tour or a group that forms from a hostel common room. I'm trying to think about it through the lens of an extrovert versus an introvert and sort of how those groups came to form. i i wonder now looking back whether the the trips if i can just label them as sort of an extrovert or introvert, whether they were potentially more fun but arguably less meaningful, does that does that make sense like because because of the extrovert qualities i have, maybe i entered myself into a room or a group and we went and did something pretty outrageous or adventurous or whatever and for that i'm very grateful and it was lots of fun and i had amazing memories, that's kind of all it meant because i wasn't really taking the time, to think about what it was i was doing and just take everything in and contemplate and sort of be present and all that it was just a massive knees up not always involving alcohol but usually but totally and.
Alun:
[19:39] That's further to the point i think i think to have an interesting and full life categorizing yourself in one of those two camps is not the way to go.
Adam:
[19:52] But we love doing that alan we love doing that yeah we.
Alun:
[19:56] We love doing it but i think that it's really.
Adam:
[19:58] Important being introverts the new vegan.
Alun:
[20:01] Yeah exactly oh i'm a uh i'm a.
Adam:
[20:04] Celiac vegan introvert as an introvert oh yeah self-diagnosed this morning thank you.
Alun:
[20:12] I i just think that the times where, despite my understanding that really my whole life has been an uphill battle to present in an extroverted fashion because i enjoyed what that meant for me in my life, really i think i think my whole life i've attempted to present as someone more extroverted than I am.
Adam:
[20:38] So it's interesting sorry to cut you but it's interesting you say that because I was talking to the guy I'm working for at the moment uh this morning after we'd had this chat yesterday about bringing this up on the pod, and I said to him that my perception of what an introvert is or previous to doing some reading and seeing what the definition really was was this timidness and shyness and almost, I had this, misconceived idea I guess that introverts kind of wish they were more extrovert, And I don't think that's true. But for some reason, and I don't know whether this is part of society or what it is that we're exposed to through media or whatever. But I kind of feel like introverts are very shy and awkward and they wish they, were louder or more comfortable in social situations. But I think some people are introvert and that's just the way they want to be. And there's no thought about being more extrovert.
Alun:
[21:39] You're 100% right, of course. But that's what I'm specifically tackling. Because I'm introverted and socially anxious to the point. I'm getting very vulnerable and personal here. But I'm trying to think of examples, from my life where that's come into play.
Adam:
[21:57] You said the goad word.
Alun:
[21:58] Because I'm someone who... Like, for example, when I joined a jujitsu gym in Canada, I have the kind of social anxiety and introversion where the idea of going and opening the door of that gym and, having to hold court in that sense and introduce myself to people and then be doing a physical activity that I'm not comfortable with and then do all that stuff. like the the amount of anxiety that that gave me i think it'd be very easy just to be like it's not worth it.
Adam:
[22:35] Yeah for sure.
Alun:
[22:36] But every day but i knew that the benefits of that were exceptional so every day i forced myself to do it, there's been moments where the last thing i wanted to do was go and, sit at the hostile common space and strike up a conversation with someone but I knew that there was benefits of doing that so I forced myself to do it.
Adam:
[23:02] Those conversations and I'm going to ask you on the spot to try and think about a lot of things here in one go, do you notice that the people that you've become close to and had really interesting meaningful and long conversations with that have no doubt developed into lifelong friendships are they also introverts, those people that you've now become friends with?
Alun:
[23:25] I guess the whole thing that I'm saying here is that, a complete rounded person can't be held up or fixated on those terms at all. I would say that most of my friends, and indeed most people when you get to know them deeply enough, have a very rooted introvert side where, and but that's what intimacy is with someone like when you're close with someone, things are different like imagine me and you sat on my bed here in Tokyo watching anime together no one would see that scene and go, well no I'm imagining what really happened which is just us on the bed watching anime yeah no one would look at that scene and say wow look at those two extroverted nomadic guys sat watching anime on a bed you would think, those two people are pretty introverted or, but that's what being close with someone is you don't have to perform there's no pretense of oh right i've got to put on my my best face for adam now in the way that that guy who wanted you to play beer pong, there's obviously a performative element to what he was doing right he was trying to manufacture an atmosphere and i think that.
Alun:
[24:49] So of course like everyone i know deeply i know they have that introverted side but, also everyone i know deeply has this passionate wondrous their eyes light up and they'll enthuse telling you about something, and there's an extroverted element to that. I just think to have an introverted... I just think to have a really fulfilling life...
Travel as a Chance to Try Both
Alun:
[25:16] I used to tell people, like, it doesn't matter whether you're introverted or extroverted, like, just travel. Because if you're introverted, you can just lie on a hammock and read a book. And if you're extroverted, there's all that partying for you. And so you should travel anyway. But I think that's, like, reductive. I think if you're introverted and you want to travel, you should read a book in a hammock, but you should also force yourself to get out there a little bit to get the most of the experience. If you're extroverted and you want to travel, you should go to those parties, but you should also try and take a meditation course or do some yoga or something. Do you know what I mean? You just try and be a master of both things. I have some people that I love dearly and I'm really close to who have defined themselves as socially anxious or introverted and have, as a result, limited themselves their whole lives to not doing extraordinary things. and i think that what i'm trying to say is there's not much difference between how i feel on a daily basis and how i think they feel what i do though is i spend a lot of time forcing myself to do shit i don't want to do.
Adam:
[26:25] Yeah yeah i think what you've just.
Alun:
[26:27] And i enjoyed my life more because of that you know i mean.
Adam:
[26:30] No no completely completely and it's important that's an important message to send because what i've just realized talking about this and also doing some of the reading last night is that, i i i do worry this must be the case, that if you're an extrovert you're probably more likely to go traveling you're more likely to take the decision yes to go traveling to go backpacking maybe because of how it's marketed in some way, um and if you're an introvert maybe you're less likely there's more of a barrier, to entry or maybe it's just seen as such a social environment that maybe that puts you off you just think I can't be bothered to be around that many people maybe there's not that many things for someone to do as an individual having said that mm-hmm, I actually, I wonder whether solo travel is better for introverts than it is extroverts. Now I'm starting to question whether that could be the case.
Alun:
[27:31] I think that knowing and being comfortable in your own company is one of the most important skills you can have to be a good traveler.
Adam:
[27:40] Yeah, yeah, completely.
Encouraging Introverts to Take the Trip
Alun:
[27:40] Being comfortable with yourself, being able to pack yourself off and not freak out that you're not constantly receiving validation from other people i think that introverts are much better than that than extroverts in a lot of ways and i think that that's really of benefit so i want to i want to say to like people with social anxiety, and people who feel like that's a barrier to entry for them traveling shoot us an email because we want to hear from you because we actually think that travel is, an awesome space for you but not in a, you can be how you always are kind of a way but in a, i think that if you push yourself you'll have the best of both worlds kind of way, i hope that's been a valuable conversation adam it's just that i was genuinely i was thinking about in the shower this morning and i texted adam saying let's talk about that on the podcast and adam uh rolled with it because he's a good extroverted friend, and um with that mate i'd love to go off to the patreon for the price of.
Alun:
[28:39] A contact lens case you know like you you get the solution and you might get a case the case is usually free with the solution but one imagines that it occupies a percentage of the total value of the solution package, i'm just looking at contact lens case over there for that price you can join our patreon it's very very nominal fee and we tell amazing stories over there and we're also we interact with you and it's all sexy and beautiful over there you're extroverted i'm all anxious oh what do the patreonies think of me that kind of thing that's what's going on in my head we'll see you over.
Adam:
[29:11] There thank you ever so much guys we hope you enjoyed that uh, do send us an email do contact us on instagram do subscribe to patreon if you are introverted and that has stopped you from traveling then please please, please take the plunge go traveling experience it because there's so much to do and it could just be the perfect place for you and if you are someone like that american guy who bowled his way into my dorm and tried to drag me out to go and play, beer pong with him then turn your cap around the right way and get the fuck out the door we'll see you all in the next one bye.
