Waitangi Day: Attending New Zealand's Controversial National Celebration
Waitangi Day commemorates the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, New Zealand's founding document, which was signed on the 6th February 1840. Festivals across New Zealand celebrate this national holiday but should they? Adam shares his experience of attending the largest and most significant of all the Waitangi Day celebrations, held at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds where the document was originally signed all those years ago.
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00:00 - Intro
02:42 - Waitangi Day
10:02 - Adam's history confession & generational guilt
15:17 - Crowd embarrassment
24:00 - Maori written language
26:30 - Whangarei swimming pool disaster
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TRANSCRIPT:
Alun:
[0:02] Hello, and welcome to this episode of Tripology.
Welcome to Tripology
Alun:
[0:07] It's the only backpacking show where the hosts are backpacking all the time. I'm Alun, and I'm here with the ever easily distracted Adam.
Adam:
[0:19] Oh, look, is that something shiny? Thanks ever so much for joining us for another episode,
guys. We love having you here. We really do appreciate it. This week, we've got a rather sensitive one in the beginning but don't worry there is another story involving some poo in the second half Alun my friend how are you doing i'm.
Alun:
[0:35] Okay i'm ready to be sensitized i'm ready i'm feeling quite the empath today so i'm looking forward to treading on eggshells in the first half of the episode and then getting all scatological and.
Adam:
[0:48] Sort of listless in.
Alun:
[0:49] The second half.
Adam:
[0:50] Well this is we've got to be honest mate because we can see that the room you're in looks rather similar to the one you were in last week and the one that i'm in probably looks quite similar to the one i was in last week as well so this is one of those rare occasions when we found somewhere we like to stay and we're just staying put for a little pause i am getting easily distracted i should have done a little bit more work over the last week i think but there's so many interesting people in this hostel and i love having conversations yeah.
Alun:
[1:18] For me it's less that i really like where I am and more that I have basically forced myself to stay in one room in order to do a bunch of work before I go to Japan. And whereas for many people that might involve, you know, working at a desk for eight hours a day and then occasionally walking down the street or seeing something, I've pretty much trapped myself in this small four meter by four meter hotel room I leave once a day to go and forage for food and then come back here I am going a little bit crazy you're the first person I've spoken to in a very long time and I'm scared for my own sanity.
Adam:
[2:04] I've got to be honest, mate. I'm going to say what everyone else is thinking. If you're not watching the video of Alun in the room, then why not? But I must say, you look like you're doing a hostage video.
Alun:
[2:14] Yes. Now, if anyone knows Morse code, please try and interpret the movement of my eyes in order to locate me and send help.
Adam:
[2:26] But no, mate, I'm having a great time. I've now finished my road trip. I've done almost everything there is to do in New Zealand. And would you believe I finished with something that I think is probably the most important? So I'd be interested to know whether you did it. At the beginning of February, of course we know that now is not the beginning of February, but there is a celebration, a national day called the Waitangi Day. Had you heard of that the 6th of February it is?
Alun:
[2:52] Uh-oh, sounds like controversial territory, Adam.
Adam:
[2:57] Yeah, no, it is. It is controversial territory on accounts of the old colonialism. but it is something that I think you should do if you are in New Zealand so I guess the first half of this episode is basically going to be me telling you and anyone listening about the experience and sort of talking about how important it is to do something like that because it gives New Zealand context.
Alun:
[3:18] Okay, I'm ready for it. I've not had any experience with this special day, but I do know a little bit about colonialism, and I'm sick of it.
Adam:
[3:29] So were you in New Zealand for a February the 6th? I would have been.
Alun:
[3:34] Mate. I was in New Zealand for every single day of a calendar year at some point. But much like now, I was confined very much to working every hour that God sent me.
Adam:
[3:47] Right so this is where we've got to tread a little bit carefully because i don't want to say anything that a isn't true or b offends anyone um in that order basically the waitangi day the 6th of february is the day when the treaty of waitangi was signed which is essentially the moment that all of the maori chiefs and a lot of the european settlers that lived here agreed to sign over sovereignty to the British monarchy and empire. So, I mean, it's pretty major stuff, mate. It's like a major, major moment in the history of New Zealand.
Alun:
[4:21] Is it like the equivalent of Independence Day, but for the New Zealand population?
Adam:
[4:27] Yeah, but it sounds more like it's the opposite of that, right? It's like the complete... inverse is it like the opposite of independence day but for.
Alun:
[4:36] The new zealand.
Adam:
[4:37] Population well i went into it much like lots of people probably listening to this show thinking that it was more of a celebration of the nation which i think is how it's built so i can only talk about my own experience and what i thought of it going in and now i think of it coming out um of the other end of the festival no i wouldn't do that live on it yeah.
Alun:
[4:57] Oh are we going to talk a lot about poo in The second half of the episode.
Adam:
[5:04] Dear, oh dear, be careful if you go to Waiutangi. No, mate, it was really... Going into it, right, it was billed, or whatever it is I was exposed to or was consuming at the time, like a celebration of New Zealand as a unified country between the Maori and the European settlers and anyone else who wanted to get involved, and that it kind of solidified or cemented one nation. we were all moving together it was sort of about unity and community and yeah celebration and this major monumental moment in the history of the country and when I got there I was, I was sort of, I'm not really sure what to expect, but made aware quite early on that a lot of people really don't like the day. A lot of people throughout the day will not try and cause chaos or bring up anything that's going to disturb people's peace or whatever. But there are a lot of people that basically think this day is a load of bullshit, that think it's bollocks, that think the history of New Zealand is something that can never be repaired and all this sort of stuff. And I realize I'm putting a lot of words in a lot of people's mouths, but I'll just I've just described to you what my experience of the day was like. Did you even go up to the Waitangi Treaty Ground, which is about three, three and a half hours north of Auckland in the Bay of Islands?
Alun:
[6:23] Adam, I can't stress to you enough. My time in New Zealand was taken up working in a music shop, living in a crack house and sort of playing pool most of the time. So I rings a bell, but I don't think so.
Adam:
[6:36] OK, that's interesting. I think you probably should come back. I think you would find it really interesting to do that sort of thing because the Waitangi Treaty grounds themselves are not only the place where the treaty was signed back in 1840 on February the 6th, but it's also a place where there's some museums. There's a guy called James Busby, I think his name was, and his house is still there, so you can walk around that. There's some Maori boats, sort of canoes, beautiful carvings and stuff. So it's really interesting to go to this area anyway as kind of a tourist attraction. You also see some cultural performances that might involve a hacker. And you can see the boats, as I said. So it's really, really lovely to walk around. It's been a long, long time. And the tour itself that you can do, if you come here, guys, and I am going to say this live on air, but if you come here and you want to do the tour, maybe tell the people who you book it with that you live in New Zealand because you will get a slightly cheaper price. And as far as I know, they don't check. You know what those Kiwis are like? They just think the best of everyone.
Alun:
[7:33] But you can tell with you that you don't live in New Zealand, I think.
Adam:
[7:37] But I do. How can you tell that I don't if I do?
Alun:
[7:39] Well, because, you know, I'll just say this. There's a certain demeanour about the Kiwi population that isn't shared by you. A sort of humility, a sort of laid-backness, an easiness. And you come from the British Empire all wound up tight like a pack of muffins, lying to people about your residency.
Adam:
[8:00] Sorry, did you say full price? Did I mention I'm from England? um so so anyway it's a great experience like i said the tour is really cool, Go there, have a good time. But the Waitangi Treaty Day Festival is a festival that is on the Waitangi Treaty Grounds. Thousands of people from all over the country travel to the treaty grounds to celebrate this free festival. And you can imagine, it's not only a number of services. I mean, there are also some religious sermons and some speakers. And even the Deputy Prime Minister was there who, spoiler alert, got booed off the stage. I mean, mate, it was intense. The guy could not get...
Alun:
[8:39] I like that sort of thing.
Adam:
[8:41] The guy could not get a word in edgeways. He was trying to explain certain things and talk to the people that were around the stage. And people were just hurling abuse at him. And then there was even one person, a Maori guy, who broke off from the rest of the crowd. And he sort of started his own festival over on one side, spouting some sort of stuff about Maori history and what the actual treaty was like and the signing of the treaty and the fact that land had been stolen and it had never been returned and all this sort of stuff. And about half of the group of people that were previously listening to the Deputy Prime Minister just walked over and started listening to him and he was just doing his own festival at the corner. It was absolutely incredible. And I've got no doubt that the stuff he was saying...
Alun:
[9:24] I like that a lot, mate.
Adam:
[9:25] I've got no doubt that the sort of stuff he was saying was probably closer to the truth, right? I mean, we said it was going to be sensitive and is it normal in these circumstances to experience generational guilt?
Alun:
[9:37] Yeah definitely normal I um yeah go on is that what you felt.
Adam:
[9:41] No it was definitely what I felt I almost felt bad for being English and going in to the festival not really understanding much about the history I'd listened to a number of podcasts which were fantastic ones that are run by Kiwis or spoken by Kiwis, about the history of New Zealand, also ones in the sort of history podcast, because the reason is, when I was in India, I didn't know enough about the history between Britain and India and the relationship between the two countries.
Alun:
[10:12] That was noted by several Indian people that I spoke to.
Adam:
[10:15] Oh, really? And I felt like, I don't really know how to describe how I felt, apart from very guilty and ashamed and upset with myself that I hadn't done as much research as I should have. And I think if you're going to go to a country like India, which is incredibly rich and diverse and complicated and wonderful, and your country, i.e. the UK, Britain, England, whatever, has had such an impact on that country, and you're going to go there and enjoy it as a tourist, I do think it's the proper thing to do, the right thing to do, to bother to learn about the history.
Alun:
[10:55] Yeah, I mean, there's two interesting schools of thought with this, really, aren't there? Because on the one hand, you think, okay, I've directly benefited in some way. By being born in the UK, I've directly benefited from some of the things which come from living in a place which had an empire founded on the misery of a lot of different places and a lot of different nations. And then on the other hand, you are not your ancestors.
Adam:
[11:21] Of course.
Alun:
[11:22] And you in your life might not have done anything that's directly impacted anyone at all. You might have tried very much to live in a way that doesn't have that effect. So I think that acknowledging that you are not your ancestors, while simultaneously acknowledging that you've benefited from a lot of things that come from living in the UK, being born in the UK, I think really the line under it has to be one of just awareness. I don't think you have a moral responsibility to feel guilty, but I do think you have a moral responsibility to try and not be ignorant.
Adam:
[11:58] Yeah, yeah, I think I would agree with that. I thought you were going to go down a different path there where I was almost going to disagree, but I don't think feeling guilty is necessarily the right emotion to feel. It's understandable why someone would, of course, but i am not my ancestors however i do think the responsible thing to do the respectful thing to do is to educate yourself and like i said give new zealand context and then it will change sort of how you move through the country and maybe help you understand things about society and community and that sort of thing um so the the festival itself was as you're probably imagining there was a huge stage there's also an area with a flagpole i stood right by the side of the head of the new zealand navy who was dressed to the nines and had four bodyguards that were all i mean they just looked so much like bodyguards it was hilarious it was you know men in black kind of styley with the earpiece coming down and uh one of them was looking at me quite often and i thought i hope he doesn't think that i'm someone he needs to keep an eye on, Or maybe, you know, it's a strange situation.
Alun:
[13:07] If I was a security guard, if that was the job that I was working and I did see you, I would keep an eye on you for a couple of reasons.
Adam:
[13:16] Go on, because it's quite clear that I'm not a Kiwi, is that why?
Alun:
[13:21] One is that you're not a Kiwi and you've been lying to people telling them that you are to try and get free tours.
Adam:
[13:30] You don't have to be a Kiwi to live in New Zealand.
Alun:
[13:32] Another reason is because I think you're quite handsome. So I think it's just easier to look at handsome people, you know, in general.
Adam:
[13:41] Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. That's a compliment though. Thanks.
Alun:
[13:45] Yeah oh i didn't say they were all negative i just think that there's a chance that that guy might have just found you attractive and it was like maybe he was having an internal conflict like i really should be focusing on stopping a riot but that guy is quite cute.
Adam:
[13:57] Is that really unprofessional isn't it yeah it's quite unprofessional there's no way you could explain yourself out of that um is that really cool but yeah big big big um sort of open area with a flagpole and you know that's got the original flag of new zealand and it's all a little bit sensitive and no one really likes to talk about it and then there's this huge area with loads of food stalls and performance areas the stages people doing cultural performances live bands loads of hackers i probably saw like six to eight different styles of hacker really really cool really worth going to um and a high high number of maoris i mean with sort of thousands and thousands as you probably expect but what was really.
Adam:
[14:39] Interesting is a lot of people in the audience really did not seem happy at all and lots of them were shouting abuse um especially when certain speakers were speaking at this thing i got there at 4 a.m by the way the first service is at 5 a.m and it is a full day that runs all the way until about 4 or 5 p.m it's a huge huge area you can obviously move between the different areas and experience different parts of the festival but i wanted to be there for the full day because i thought at the time it was going to be the last thing i ever did in new zealand and i wanted to finish um having learned all of that stuff but but something something so amazingly comical but awkward happened when i don't know how many speakers there were in a row but you can imagine it's pitch black because it's 5 a.m.
Adam:
[15:29] There's a couple of hundred people sitting by the main stage looking at the people who are speaking. And then there are cameras and drones flying over the rest of the crowd, which even at 5 a.m. was still a few thousand. And we are watching on a huge screen what is being shot at the main stage. So the main stage is kind of a cordoned off area where you only allow invitees into the scene, right? and then there's thousands of us many of which was whom were sitting on the floor watching everything that's going on on this absolutely gigantic screen that is not too dissimilar from something you'd see in a stadium right and then each person speaking for let's say 15 20 30 minutes a jumbotron yeah it's called a jumbotron isn't it very well done yeah um yeah.
Alun:
[16:17] Yeah sometimes it's like oh look what about if these two people kiss oh this this one this guy looks a bit like michael.
Adam:
[16:25] Sarah is that are you referring to me because of my hair.
Alun:
[16:29] No no no i just that's the kind of thing that's kind of a jumbotron.
Adam:
[16:34] Activity oh right there's me licking my lips looking at the security guard i'll see you i'll see you um but yeah so you imagine the scene right and then the first i don't know let's say first five or six people who were speaking were all white and i know this might sound a little bit shocking to say but you you have to imagine how culturally sensitive and how complicated this history is and then the situation itself thousands of us sitting there i'm like listening intently to what's going on and hearing the murmurs of other people saying oh this is bullshit you stole our land and all this sort of stuff, and then the first five speakers were five or six uh five or six white people and then the first speaker who came to the podium who was maori, started speaking for a few seconds and then the editor cut to a shot of a single white woman in the crowd who was yawning and falling asleep and the the the entire crowd erupted in laughter it was the timing was absolutely impeccable it was so i mean obviously it was incredibly awkward but you have to in those situations you have to see the funny side of it.
Alun:
[17:51] Did she get stirred by the laughter and and then you got to see her reaction to being on the.
Adam:
[17:56] Jump yeah it was a massive yawn it was a really big yawn that she then sort of saw herself on the big screen and then tried to hide um but she was i.
Alun:
[18:04] Imagine that just seconds earlier she'd been so engaged that the cameraman singled her out and was like this is a good woman to cut to because she was like so locked in okay we're going to show that this person has empathy and is engaged with the speech cut to her and then And she was yawning and she must have felt really bad about that. I once in a university lecturer fell asleep. And when the teacher said, Alun, why are you sleeping in my lecture? I woke up and said, I wasn't
sleeping. I was sneezing. And everyone laughed.
Adam:
[18:39] I was sneezing oh but that.
Alun:
[18:42] Was my like coming out of sleep and finding myself in a situation that was what my brain came up with.
Adam:
[18:49] Oh right so you weren't you weren't trying to squirm it was just it was just what the first because.
Alun:
[18:54] I was unconscious i was unconscious and i woke up to someone like shouting at me.
Adam:
[18:58] Um that got you off the hook you're such a quick thinker anyway she didn't say that.
Alun:
[19:04] She like challenged it she was like no you weren't you were why did you have your eyes closed and i went you try and sneeze with your eyes.
Adam:
[19:11] Open i knew it i knew it that's amazing i'm actually surprised that more people don't have car accidents accidents when they sneeze it's interesting isn't it.
Alun:
[19:20] Yeah because it's an intense experience to sneeze isn't it.
Adam:
[19:23] It really is my sister will hate me for saying this but she's got the funniest sneeze of anyone i've ever met and it is such an anti-climax what does it do.
Alun:
[19:31] It like goes hard and then peters.
Adam:
[19:33] Out Yeah, so she goes, this is, I can't believe I'm doing this live on it. She goes, And that's the end.
Alun:
[19:42] Wow.
Adam:
[19:43] And then everyone's waiting there with bated breath going, come on, come on. And it's just the end of the show, and it's just a cliffhanger.
Alun:
[19:50] I like that people are so encouraging. For years, for my whole life, I held in the sneeze. I always just sneezed into my own head and didn't allow it to expel out. And then a girl once said to me, she said, you know, if you can do that, you can explode your brain. Sounds plausible. And I thought that I'm probably not real, but I googled it and you actually can cause significant damage. You can like pop blood vessels in your head. You can cause brain bleeds. It's actually quite dangerous. So upon reading that, I broke the habit. And now, you know what it's like to live 30 years sneezing into your own brain and stifling it. And then suddenly someone gives you social permission to expel your sneezes out into the world. It's a joy.
Adam:
[20:37] No, but it is. But isn't it like the sort of the dab? isn't that what people are doing these days the dab where they into.
Alun:
[20:43] The into the crook of your elbow that's what canadians do.
Adam:
[20:46] Yeah yeah yeah so i think that's now socially acceptable to do that um because people just don't carry handkerchiefs anymore do they that's.
Alun:
[20:54] Exactly what i do mate into the elbow but just expelling.
Adam:
[20:57] That and.
Alun:
[20:57] Not keeping it in like i've been doing for all these years it's been a really liberating experience.
Adam:
[21:02] You've shaved you've added years sorry back onto your life expectancy because where you were previously shaving them off so i'm very very glad indeed, because that means the future of topology is going to be, ever so long and prosperous there's.
Alun:
[21:14] A lot of things that i can do now as a.
Adam:
[21:17] Expelry sneezer.
Alun:
[21:18] That as a internal snot gambler i was going to miss out on.
Adam:
[21:23] How the hell did we get onto this um it's a travel show not your name not a hygiene show um but yeah so what i do want to say is that my experience of waitangi treaty day at the treaty grounds was brilliant it was informative educational it was quite shocking in some respects but if you want to learn about the history of New Zealand and sort of the relationship between European settlers and Maori and see some traditional Maori practices whether it's dances or even the the launching of the boats that we saw along the river and all this sort of stuff in traditional dress it is absolutely amazing and they've got some Maori sort of traditional dishes there that are for sale and a raw fish salad oh my god it's like the best thing on earth um so get one of those i do think honestly this is a rare piece of advice for me if you are in new zealand for a february the 6th you should prioritize going to the waitangi treaty grounds for the waitangi treaty day i do think it's a very important thing to do and i think overall you'll have a great experience but i also think you should just be aware of how sensitive the day and the celebration, or whatever you want to call it is, and just expect it to be not all good all the time.
Alun:
[22:40] And just approach it with care and awareness, and choose not to live in ignorance. I think that's really salient advice.
Adam:
[22:47] And maybe have a really good night's sleep beforehand, because if you get up early, there is a chance that you'll be caught on camera doing something that will be very embarrassing, and then you won't be experiencing generational guilt, it will be literal present-day guilt.
Alun:
[22:59] And her children, her children's children will probably have some generational guilt about that thing. They'd have like a clean slate. They'd be like, OK, the world's peaceful and beautiful. But at that time, my grandma yawned at someone's speech and in doing so cursed my family.
Adam:
[23:16] Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you if you don't understand the reasons why the Maori think that land has been stolen, then definitely read up on it and listen to a load of podcasts. but even just one tiny example is that there is a difference in the translations between the english text and the maori text so even something.
Alun:
[23:36] So i was just doing an impression.
Adam:
[23:37] Even even something as small as that can have profound uh effects and uh consequences but um it was a wicked wicked time i drove up there in my van and then on the way down i went to a place called fangarei So if you're in New Zealand and you ever see a place name that starts with a W-H, it's usually pronounced with an F. And as someone who likes languages and linguistics, Alun, I wanted to ask you, do you know if there is a Maori alphabet?
Alun:
[24:09] Interesting question. I don't think I've ever seen Maori art that includes lettering.
Adam:
[24:17] So this isn't a test because I don't think there is.
Alun:
[24:20] I think that Polynesian culture was oral tradition and, Until colonialism gave them a written language.
Adam:
[24:36] Yeah, okay. So I think that's probably right, because a lot of the signs that are in Maori that I see around New Zealand, and often it's Maori first and then English second, is written using the English alphabet, right? All the same.
Alun:
[24:48] Similar to like Vietnamese, for example. But the Vietnamese did have an alphabet, but it was kind of taken, and the Western alphabet was put in its place.
Adam:
[24:57] Right. So can you think, with all your experience and knowledge, why the letters WH would be used if they didn't have an alphabet, if there isn't a Maori alphabet, right, and they're writing Maori words trying to reproduce the sounds that they would have made orally, why would they have chosen to write those words with a WH meaning an F? Why wouldn't they have just used the letter F?
Alun:
[25:22] I'm going to be speaking in ignorance here because I just don't know.
Adam:
[25:26] Do you sort of understand the question, though? Do you understand what I'm trying to ask?
Alun:
[25:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What I would, again, this could just not be true, but I would likely say the WH was some linguists attempt expressing something about the sound that's made in those words. So F probably isn't an exact, apt description for that sound either. Right, okay. So given the choice of WH or F, they went with WH for whatever reason. But it was probably the result of a Western linguist trying to phonetically spell those words and not having the phonemes to represent it.
Adam:
[26:08] Yeah, it sounds plausible. I'm very glad I asked. I guess the WH sound, even in the word, you know, that old family guy joke, whip, cool whip. You know that joke? Maybe, maybe.
Alun:
[26:20] Whip.
Adam:
[26:20] Yeah, something similar to that, maybe. But anyway, it's interesting. So on my way back, I went through Fangarei. And, uh, don't worry guys, this is where, this is where the poo comes in. I was on my way back and, uh, a typical van life thing to do is because I don't have a shower in my van, but I've been living in my van for four months, uh, on and off. What I like to do when I go to a bigger town, if there's an aquatic center or a leisure center of some sort, a swimming pool.
Alun:
[26:49] What? Like an aquarium? Like where fish live?
Adam:
[26:51] No, not where fish live, where people swim. You know, that's an aquatic center.
Alun:
[26:57] What I would like to do, in the absence of a shower, I like to get in a fish tank and splash about with all the fishes.
Adam:
[27:04] I was really hoping I would come across somewhere similar to the thing we found in Oman. That was great. A wadi.
Alun:
[27:12] I've never heard of a swimming pool be called an aquatic centre.
Adam:
[27:16] Well, like a leisure centre.
Alun:
[27:18] I've heard of leisure centre, but that's not what you said. You said aquatic centre.
Adam:
[27:22] Okay well one of those where there is a building for the community where there is a swimming pool often a sauna a steam room uh some showers so little tip for you sometimes.
Alun:
[27:30] Probably fish as well in the reception or something.
Adam:
[27:32] Yeah especially if there's a chinese restaurant on site and and, i uh i usually i use it as an opportunity just to get clean have a good old wash not worry about the water bill and uh you're talking like sometimes four five six maybe eleven for the most premium services, careful, dollars, so that you can just have a real good wash if it's been a couple of days since you've had a proper shower. And I went to this one in Fangale that I've been to a couple of times. I was really looking forward to it. And I spoke to the staff and they said, yeah, just get the single adult, whatever it was, 11 bucks, and you can use all the facilities. I had been in the jacuzzi. I actually went over to the main pools because apparently, don't quote me on it, but apparently it's one of the biggest wave pools on the North Island or something like that. So I thought, look, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm on my own. It would be weird if I was just enjoying the wave pool. I put my stuff down. it went in up to my waist of the wave pool looked at all the kids that were in there who weren't mine and i saw you know a lot of other adults who seem to be the parents of these kids and i thought it it does feel a little bit wrong that a dude of my age is just enjoying a wave pool with all these kids yeah so so.
The Waitangi Day Debate
Alun:
[28:48] Close to february.
Adam:
[28:48] 6th.
Adam:
[28:57] Yeah yeah there hadn't there hadn't been the the correct number of days for it to be socially acceptable for me to be in swimming pools uh with other people's children so i thought i understand i'm probably overthinking it but i'm gonna go and sit in the jacuzzi and just lay low right i went into the jacuzzi i was sitting there with my arms out enjoying enjoying the whatever the heat and the bubbles i don't think i'd even been in there for two minutes and everyone started screaming and then there was a mass exodus everyone was running out of the pool as fast as they could i was some people were having a lot of difficulty obviously because they were up to their neck in water so they were swimming as fast as they can running you've not had the waves were going everywhere and i thought what the fuck is going on and there was this young girl she must been about 16 poor thing on minimum wage she's there on the radio going code red code red and this guy comes running out he's like what's going on and the look on her face was absolutely amazing, she said um she said get me the net get me the net one of the kids are shit in the pool and it was i could see the look on your face.
Adam:
[30:09] I couldn't fucking believe it she was beside herself her face in just a split second was saying so many things it was like i am not getting paid anywhere near enough for this fucking shit and she had to wait until her collie came from the other side of the swimming pool with this big net and then we all just sort of watched her try and fish this turd out of the water now.
Alun:
[30:34] Would you rather do that or clean a public restroom.
Adam:
[30:40] Um you mean just as a an act just as a sort of task to have to do.
Alun:
[30:45] Yeah, yeah.
Adam:
[30:46] You'd make it into a game.
Alun:
[30:47] Wouldn't you? You've got minimum wage.
Adam:
[30:49] Yeah.
Alun:
[30:50] You need the money. You can fish a turd out of a swimming pool or you can clean a public restroom.
Adam:
[30:57] No, but hang on. This is more complicated than this, Alun, because it's not representative of what the job interview would have been like when she accepted it. I think when you go into cleaning public toilets, you probably expect to see a little bit of shit. When you want to be a lifeguard, you probably just think you're going to be in and around a swimming pool just making sure that no one drowns.
Alun:
[31:16] I hear what you're saying. let's say in one scenario you're working in the swimming pool and then someone shits in the other scenario you're working in a cafe and your boss says go and clean the toilets so the both have surprised you right which are you more upset about um.
Adam:
[31:33] I'm more likely to just take the cafe toilets in my stride i think.
Alun:
[31:38] See that's remarkable to me because i would much prefer to do the swimming pool job and if any aquatic centers are listening i'm in need of employment because here's what i think you have distance right you have a net on a stick you can look away you can fish that thing out you can get rid of the problem all while maintaining distance whereas in the cafe restroom you are right up there and maybe there maybe it's all invisible maybe it's invisible grime and dirt, but it's closer to you.
Adam:
[32:15] I don't know if we'll be able to agree on this one, mate. I just think... the the fishing out of the turd like i said you could probably treat it as a game but she also had to do it in front of hundreds of people and in front of the family of you know the the suspects whoever it was what the.
Alun:
[32:39] The poo's parents.
Adam:
[32:40] The poo's parents the poo's parents who who didn't own up by the way as far as i know no it's a mystery poo no one well.
Alun:
[32:47] You don't do you I'm sorry, if you shit in a swimming pool, you don't own up to it. That's one of the few scenarios in life where you just keep fucking quiet at all costs.
Adam:
[32:58] Do you not? I mean, maybe the right thing to do, though, is to say that it was me. Sorry, I'm struggling. I mean, if they're a young kid. But as a situation...
Alun:
[33:09] I'm struggling. I'm really going through it at home.
Adam:
[33:14] The waves are enormous. i mean what i would have done is probably uh when i was calling in sick at the bank all those years ago i used to just say i had diarrhea if i didn't want to go in because people don't ask if you say you have diarrhea which is already pretty embarrassing a lot of people don't feel comfortable saying that they have that the manager just goes all right hope you get well soon and that's it describe the diarrhea to me it's case closed stop drinking chai usually um you're lactose intolerant but um then once everyone had got out the pool it was made clear that we couldn't go back in the pool anymore i don't know what they had they probably had to absolutely were.
Alun:
[33:49] Some people still hankering after getting back in.
Adam:
[33:51] I mean i just paid 11 to use that thing that's.
Alun:
[33:54] Disappointing news the shit's not been in the pool for a whole 60 seconds can i get back in.
Adam:
[34:03] It is february the 7th after all now you know i uh just.
Alun:
[34:06] Cover me in chlorine and i'll swim about the pool and clean it for you.
Adam:
[34:10] I won't need that net don't worry, um my first thought was oh fucking hell i've just paid 11 for that i wonder if i get my money back i wonder if i can just you know be charged the.
Alun:
[34:22] Show was hardly worth it.
Adam:
[34:23] Could i be charged for just the jacuzzi is that all right um but then one lady popped her head out of a side door which i think backed onto the reception and she said guys has anyone seen the net i've got a coat red code red in the kids pool and they were like twice in one day again nightmare yeah yeah so there was another one they had to go and clean up immediately afterwards um wow and that was interesting.
Alun:
[34:47] That they use code red i mean i suppose it's the worst thing that can happen in a swimming pool.
Adam:
[34:51] Yeah i mean because you're implying what.
A Poo Incident at the Pool
Alun:
[34:53] If someone dies and floats face down in the water what's what code is that also a red.
Adam:
[34:58] Yeah maybe they just use code red for everything bad that could happen there's.
Alun:
[35:02] Something in the pool which shouldn't be in.
Adam:
[35:05] There yeah it's a code red someone's.
Alun:
[35:07] Released a fish into the pool trying to build an aquatic.
Adam:
[35:10] Center there are little things like that in life aren't there where you think how is that not a code brown how how did they not use the code brown um to describe that so and that was it mate and that was that was such a wonderful sort of two day period i had an amazing time one thing i didn't mention that i don't even know if i should because i think it's going to set you off is i went to this tiny little indian restaurant on the way to the treaty grounds and guess not who but what i was served by oh.
Alun:
[35:40] No an indian robot.
Adam:
[35:42] I love that. the robot wasn't indian as far as i could tell um but yeah it was a robot it was so fucking out of place man it was hilarious it was this tiny little know nothing i'm not going to call it a shithole but there's not much going on there and i went to this indian restaurant i was, hankering for some indian food and i went and.
Alun:
[36:10] A conversation with an indian person because i know you love to tell indian people that you've been to india so a big part much like in the swimming pool scenario a big part of what you enjoy about the experience was taken from you.
Adam:
[36:23] Uh no no no not at all i um you are right i do like i wouldn't say i like selling indian people i've been to india but i like talking to them about india if they're from india because i'm interested in hearing, why you know their story and i find it interesting and that's i.
Alun:
[36:40] Think you like telling people that you've been there i think you can't wait you're like oh india what province are you from.
Adam:
[36:45] Yeah that's interesting that you're in i didn't say i was indian i was born in new zealand oh okay, do you know there's been a few people that have been i met someone uh recently who was from jam nagar and when i told them that we'd been there their head nearly popped off it was um wow it was um yeah really really funny mate but when i went in there i saw this robot i could not believe it It was an Indian restaurant that for the first three panels, if you imagine a fast food restaurant, right, you know, you've got the menus at the back. The first three panels were burgers, fried chicken and pizza. And then it was the Indian stuff. I thought, okay, this is going to be one of those restaurants where, you know, the food's shit.
Alun:
[37:30] How was the burger?
Adam:
[37:32] Yeah, I didn't get a burger, mate. I just got a parata. You know me. Parata with a little bit of pickle and some raita.
Alun:
[37:36] Well, I'm going to set you off before the end of the episode as well, because I have been so focused on work here in Busan that I have gone to the same restaurant almost every day.
Adam:
[37:48] Okay, but hang on. Look, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, because I know you're a very busy man, and you like routine, and you like efficiency. Are you ordering the same thing? Please say no.
Alun:
[37:57] No. Okay, good. The reason I'm going there is because they've proven themselves. It's like very close walking distance. And I'm having to remember to eat at the moment because I'm working so hard.
Adam:
[38:07] You are looking slim.
Alun:
[38:09] Thank you. Yes. I'm wasting away. It's within walking distance. My opinion on the touch screen has completely changed. Now I prefer it because it's just efficient. I go in there, order what I want. There's like, they do a huge range of produce. I click it. It's being made. I can see when I click order, I can see them get the ping and they start making it.
Adam:
[38:37] Yeah.
Alun:
[38:37] And then there's like a buffet of kimchi and radishes and all that sort of stuff. The Wi-Fi is fast. It's always empty. it's 24 hours so I can go whenever I want and it's just a dream in there it's just so efficient and wonderful sometimes I think I should try more different foods in Busan and then I usually end up thinking that place is nice and easy and convenient and affordable.
Adam:
[39:01] So why would you change it if that's what works for you mate and time is of the essence um then I wish there was.
Alun:
[39:08] An Indian robot there.
Adam:
[39:09] All I can do is just agree and say I'm sure it's the right decision for you but it won't be the sort of thing that I'll be doing you should go out and taste the food in Busan mate have you been to a Russian restaurant yet?
Alun:
[39:19] Mate you've not given me any tips or recommendations for Busan despite me relentlessly
asking you over text so if you would do that then I will go to the places you gave me lovely recommendations for Seoul and nothing for Busan so far Okay.
Adam:
[39:31] Well if you're listening to this now and you've been to Busan and you've got some lovely food recommendations to send to Alun flick us an email send us a message on Instagram but I think it's about time we went over to the lost and found section there is a link in the description.
Alun:
[39:42] Yeah go and click on that link if you do you'll be asked for some money and if you spend that money you'll go to a magical realm beyond the podcast where the theme music dies down and we start talking about all kinds of effervescent and wonderful things we will see you if you choose to join us on that adventure there we'll.
Adam:
[40:01] See you there bye-bye.
